Late Nights

Your parents tell you not to stay up late. They say it's bad for you, that it'll affect your performance, in school, work, life, goals, maybe even goals they've have for you opposed to the goals you've set for yourself., and yea they're probably right.
Despite the after-affects, for me, staying up late is a paradox. There's no one to talk or listen to and I'm probably physically half asleep, but my mind is racing more than ever. I feel motivated and empowered to do anything in the world. At 2 am you'll find me completing an entire project in twenty minutes well enough to earn a decent A. You'll find me writing and thinking and learning and searching, but about and for what? The future, the past, right now, what is and what isn't and what will be and may be. In the middle of the night, I absorb information like a sponge and can spit out information I didn't even know I knew! Radically creative thought processes take over and make me wonder if I'm still the same person I was before the clock struck midnight. Like, did I really just say the word "radically"? I bet Edison found that one component at 2 am, or maybe that's when he thought "Hey, it'd be cool to have a portable bulb of light". Well it really is 2 am and it's going to take alot of caffeine to get me through the day tomorrow, oops.

Summer 2013 Begins! (with a bad mispronunciation)

At the school I went to finalizing middle school, 8th grade graduation was a pretty big deal. There were only 22 kids in my grade, but tears were shed, speeches were said, and I don't think my vision went back to normal until the next day because of all the flash photography. We even each had a cap and gown and the little ribbon thing at the top of the cap with the year on it (just in case anyone forgets!). It was treated as a rite of passage, and all I wanted was for it to go by fast. I was ready for summer and I didn't care about anything else. Despite that, I don't think I will ever forget that day. After the speeches had concluded we were each called up one by one to be presented with our "diplomas". It was pretty lame, but luckily I was the first one to be called up in alphabetical order. It was my queue to walk, and I went up the steps. "Now we will present our graduating class of 2013,"  The crowd went silent and all the attention was on me, the first person to accept this very prestigious piece of paper that confirmed I had survived middle school. "Sophia... caca dora". I didn't notice the laughter from the rows of people until I was halfway back to my seat, and was it a hysterical laughter. It filled the church we were graduating in and one lady was literally purple and looked like she was about to pass out. That's when I put the puzzle together. My principal had just called me Sophia GoldenPoop. He was laughing too and you could tell it was on purpose, but I guess I'll laugh about it. No less than 30 people came up to me at the reception (yes, there was a reception...) asking me if I had recognized the "hilarious joke". Whatever, eighth grade wasn't fun anyways so it didn't make that much of a difference.

The View

From 5th to 7th grade, my brother and I lived with our dad on 50-somethingth street and Collins Ave. in Miami Beach. It was a pretty-average apartment, but there was one thing about it that made it special, the view. We were only on the twelfth floor, but there was this window in our living room that was a glimpse into the entire city. I can recall sitting there hours on end, people watching, car watching, and counting the dozens of buildings that came to a perfect point on first street. Everytime I looked out into the city from that window, I felt like a part of something. Hundreds of countries and millions of stories and dreams were all gathered in this notorious melting pot, and it was right there,  in front me.

Know the limits, even in genorosity

My first semester of my 9th year, I was under some impression that everything I did was being watched by all of the other freshman, taking in every aspect of their peers to decipher who to look up to, who to become friends with, and who to avoid. I took the phrase "be the person you'd like to meet" way too literally and I probably still do in some ways. I would say hi to every single person I'd ever talked to (even if it was only one time)  in the halls, I'd always talk about what other people wanted to talk about, and whenever someone asked me for money for the vending machines on campus, I think you know what happened. Basically over the course of the first 4 months of school, I had probably lent out over 60 dollars (alot of money in 14 year old currency). However not one person ever paid me back. I realized a pattern taking place. People would hang around me for like 5 minutes, and then "out of the blue" ask me for money and not even make an effort to say a word afterwards. One day (after "lending" 2 people money), I didn't have any left. I'm usually okay with this and just wait a few hours to get home and eat, but today was Valentine's day and they were selling the results to the compatibility test at my school and everyone was buying them. I really wanted to see mine, just for fun, however I was clean out of money. I asked my friend to borrow 3 dollars and assured her I'd pay her back ASAP (which I did). The moment she handed me those three dollars I had a realization. It was cemented in my intentions to pay her back as soon as possible, but was that everyone's intention? Truth is, these kids probably had plenty of cash between allowance, lunch money, babysitting I don't know. I had to learn the hard way, but it's still a lesson learned. Yea if a friend of mine asks me for a dollar I'll lend it to them, but sometimes it's really important to know the limits, even in generosity.

Teen Angsts

We all have problems, struggles, and things about our lives we'd like to change. For example, parents who don't really care about you (the real you, not just your transcripts and how you come off to other people) , a pretty messed up broken home giving me the illusion that family values was some myth made up by 1980s sitcoms, and a past of lots and lots of terrible "friends" (hey, you're a sidekick to me!). In the 7 years of teenagerdom, I don't think anyone has it perfect. We all have our struggles, or "angsts", whether they're major or trivial. I think it's okay to feel kinda down in the dumps about some of them sometimes, whether it be your mom leaving you right before your middle school years or getting nearly perfect grades in everything besides a 92 in dance (both being things I was pretty pissed about at one point). I think what we can all do is just be there for one another. I really don't think these things should effect our overall happiness. I don't think anything out of one's control should.

Moment

Moment is such a weird concept. What is a moment? Like, we're all living in the moment right? Is it a unit of time? A state of mind? A word that defines the very meaning of tense of, well everything? At that moment, in this moment, in a moment. Well, now it doesn't really sound like a word at all. I think we all should live in the moment, even if some of the things we do will be regretted later on. Living for the future can be tiring and time consuming, and then you're there but you might need more time, so it's a never ending cycle. I think the best way to live is in the moment, but doing something you'll thank yourself later for. It's important to do whatever you're doing for the time at hand, but know that later on it can affect yourself and the people around you, but where's that balance? Maybe that's just what common sense is.

Positivity

Positivity is the most beautiful thing in the world. It can shine upon anything and change an entire outlook. Positivity is like a candle. You can light an unlimited amount of candles from one candle that has been previously lit. The same rule applies to happiness. It only radiates and making somebody else happy can only make you happier. Everytime you smile at someone or ask them how there day is, it's probably helping shape a really good day for them, and they can pass it on to someone else. Be kind, be happy, and be positive is a mantra that everyone should live by. It takes less work than any other mood and can set off an ending supply of positivity and happiness.